Archive for May 2010
Why positive thinking alone doesn´t work and what I did to deserve my wife Jeanette…
May 30, 2010
Ok, this one is going to be nasty…
Raw…
…and unsensored.
From time to time, I get emails from artists that open themselves up and reveal big chunks of their lifes. They talk about their problems and stuff going on their end.
First of all, I want to say thank you for your trust in me.
Second, it´s an act of great courage – and it takes LOTS of it to write the emails I get.
For that – you guys should be very PROUD of yourselves…
The other day, I did get a very long and emotional email from an artist that was having some serious issues. She revealed her childhood and all the issues she faced then – and today.
She felt that positive thinking didn´t work for her…
In fact, she ENVIED me that it worked for me and that I was some kind of a lucky guy that didn´t have to deal with difficult times…
She wrote that she tried and failed to improve her life several times…
And that her experience was that for every positive step she took, some bad things happened and ruined the whole thing.
Her email inspired me to write todays blog post…
I have deep empathy for all the pain others feel in their lifes…
…because I´ve been there.
And now – let´s be BRUTALLY honest here…
Let me tell you some facts about my own life… And how positive thinking is part of a bigger puzzle… And why it doesn´t work – when used the wrong way.
Frankly – how it can be counterproductive…
I was born poor in Poland. When I was at an age of 7, there was a state of war in Poland, where tanks and military guys where all over the city.
That was SCARY as hell…
We had food stamps – and had to count the food we bought.
When we moved to Sweden a few years later, we were living by – but were still poor. I had a broken, used bicycle, where my friends had new ones with 27 gears. I had cheap, ugly clothes, where my class mates had new fashion clothes.
I was frozen out…
I took various jobs after dropping out of school with ZERO grades.
NONE!
I started to drink, take pills and felt like a wreck.
And this was going on for years!
Believe me, I wanted to take my life several times – and I was close to – damn close to.
I had a high speed car “accident” (I don´t belive in accidents, things happen for a reason) where my car hit a bridge reiling and was totally demolished. The only reason I´m still alive is becuase I had my seat belt on and that the bridge reiling was strong enough.
But it was bended like butter…
My car looked like a pile of squashed metal. There was nothing left of it… There was a scary free fall of 30 meters straight down – so talk about an angel that saved me that day.
I survived that day and was able to continue doing what I did…
This was my reality…
I´ve been fighting with peoeple…
I´ve been angry…
I´ve been depressed for 20 years…
Diagnosed with borderline…
My best best friend died in cancer…
My wife Jeanette have had some MAJOR health challenges.
Recently we found out that her father has cancer in his blood.
Her grandmother died in cancer and was an alcoholic..
Her grandfather drowned himself…
Her first love died in an car crash…
I could easily write a long list of friends and relatives that have had strokes and other issues that RUINED their lifes for good…
In fact we have lost serveral beloved family members that was so close to us that life didn`t feel worthy living without them…
And on top of all the live challanges, we also had our share of financial struggles…
We´ve had cars that we used to duct tape to hold them together… Where the engine stopped running, at the most inconvenient places…
Or that simply wouldn´t start at all…
I´ve eaten noodles for weeks…
I´ve taken overdoses with pills to end my desctructive life.
And I envied people that in my point of view had it all… That had great relationships, that had nice cars, that had money, that seemed PERFECT…
So – in a single word – I truly understand and know all about…
…PAIN.
I´m not saying this to compare my life with others, nor do I blame myself or others for starting my life in the wrong way.
With those circumstances, experiences and lifeskills I had at that time, it couldn´t turn out any other way.
So… I´ve been to hell…
And I found a way out of it.
And here´s what I did…
Pay close attention – because this is UNIVERSAL.
This works for everybody that´s willing to do what it takes…
It all begins with a DESIRE to get out of the freaking shit.
When I was so fed up staying where I was – I had to do something radical.
When I hit the bottom, I have had enough.
When I met Jeanette, she understood my pain and really felt empathy of how I felt and the reasons behind it.
She accepted me the way I was…
But…
She NEVER accepted this to be a permanent state. Jeanette is a fun mix of an oversensetive fighter and she litterary KICKED me in the right direction.
And that was the sparkle I needed, to ignite my DESIRE to CRUSH my destructive life.
Slowly, I started to learn more about my self and others.
And that´s not an easy thing to do having borderline…
I read books about self development. The first one I ever read, was Dr. Phils Life Strategies that Jeanette bought me. I highly recommend it.
See, the mind that created my former life, couldn´t fix it.
And here´s why…
I was infected with disbeliefes, lack of proper thinking and I was holding on to the fact that I was a bad person not worthy anything.
This is what I learned as a kid.
Kids ALWAYS blame themselves for everything that happens to them.
Me included.
And guess what, as an adult – as I knew I was a bad person – bad stuff had to happen to me to justify it.
I justified what I beleived in, by attracting bad circumstances.
This is a universal law – and it´s called the Law of Attraction.
It´s as real as gravity. Whether you belive in it or not – it works. All the time.
You can choose to ignore it – but it still works… And it will for every second for the remains of your life.
Law of Attraction says that what you focus on – will grow. What you feel – you attract.
In therapy, I´ve learned that my thoughts, feelings and actions were all connected. (Congitive Behaviour Therapy)
Each thought, whether contious or subcountious (as a result of your background) – will create a feeling.
ALL humans react to the way they feel.
ALWAYS.
As I grew, I started to see things in a wider perspectve… And I started slowly to feel better more often…
Day by day – week by week.
After a few years, I quit taking pills.
AND… After a YEAR of withdrawal symptoms, I was free of them.
Now, here´s the important part of the story.
Positive thinking alone doesn´t work…
It just doesn´t.
I mean common – just thinking that things will become better is pure nonsense.
And those who tried – KNOW IT. 
And here´s when it DOES work…
When you take ACTION.
Somewhere, deep inside of me – with Jeanettes strong support – I started to think that there´s SOMETHING more…
With each piece of the puzzle, that became more obvious to me.
So, I developed a mind set – and started to BELIEVE that I could accomplish more in my life.
However, at that time I didn´t know what that would be.
But that didn´t matter at that time… My desire for a better life, was already on fire.
But hold your horses…
My ACTION – was to gain more knowledge from successful people – some of them with the same kind of experiance that I had… but that already had made it…
After the pills were gone, I had one more thing to get rid of…
My job…
At that time, I was in so much pain, that I just wanted to stop it.
I couldn´t go to my job no more…
And that was a painful fact to realize. Because I loved that job.
But in order to move on, I had to let go of what was holding me back.
I needed to change the environment, that at that time – supported my desctructive lifestyle.
Finally, I hit a turning point.
With GREAT support from my life coach Mike Lewis (Thank you Mike, you´re the best!) – I went to the office of my boss and said to him that I wanted to quit.
And then, for the first time in my life – I was no longer employed…
The day I left my job for good, I didn´t feel any fear.
I felt free.
When people were fired all around me and in difficult financial times – I dediced to take control of my own life and go my own way…
I continued to GROW and surrounded my self with successful people.
And I still do.
They helped me to broaden my perspective…
There is NO simple road to success. All change is horribly painful from time to time.
But´s it´s worth it!
And it all starts with…
1. A burning DESIRE to change your life and take control – this happens when you´re dead tired of your situation and truly WANT a change.
This is a tricky one, becuase as soon as you say YES to ANY part of your current life… Then you´ll stay there. As long as there´s a pay off – people will always stay.
You can hear people MOAN about their jobs. But the moment they justify it by saying: -”But it pays the bills”… Done – you´re staying.
Compare that to:
-”I´m fed up – I´m OUT OF HERE”…
See the difference?
Same situation.
Different mindset.
Even if that someone can´t quit their job right away, an open mindset enables them to find a solution.
If they say that it pays the bills, then it will continue to pay their bills. (And not so much more)
You know the saying:
For many people, J.O.B. often means Just Over Broke.
2. Believe that you CAN and even more importantly that you are WORTHY that change.
This is NOT the same thing as just wanting things. ALL people WANT stuff. Instead, this means believing that you actually can get there.
How this looks like in real life?
-”I would like to have that car… But it´s too expensive”…
Done, you´re NOT getting that car.
Compare that to:
-”That´s the car I want to have, and I will get it next year…”
Same situation.
Different mindset.
If you say that it´s too expensive, then it always will…
If you say that you will get it next year, then your mind is open for searching and finding solutions…
3. Gain more knowledge and GROW as a person – therapy, books, CD´s, videos, seminars, coaches – whatever it takes to learn EVERYTHING about successful people.
I had a big issue with this. I hated when I felt that what I knew was not enough.
I actually resented successful people, because they had what I wanted to have.
That was my BIG ego…
As I let go of it, and embraced new knowledge – I started to grow as a person. And the more I know – the more there is to learn – it´s an neverending ongoing process…
Sometimes the road gets bumpy, but overall – it´s a fascinating journey…
Success – on ANY level in your life – is a DIRECT result of your personal growth.
4. Positive thinking with DAILY action
Why positive? Positive thinking creates positive feelings – which in turn creates positive action steps.
Notice, I said DAILY action. That´s EACH day. Not once a month and then: -”Oh crap, it didn´t work”…
For how long?
As LONG as it takes!
As freaking long as it takes!
UNTIL!
How about set backs?
Oh dear, don´t get me started on this one…
Set backs?
HELL yeah!
They WILL get in your way, trying to DRAAAAAG you back to where you were.
And EACH DAY I take action.
I still, as of today, experience negative thinking from time to time…
But I don´t fight it the way I used to…
Instead, I handle it with ACTION – not only REACTION…
It´s a choice I´ve made a long time ago – that has grown into my reality by DAILY action.
“It´s not how many times we fall… It´s how many times we stand up…”
Doing your best is sometimes NOT enough…
I did what I HAD to… That means pushing outside of what I thought was possible…
Recently, I saw an episode of the great Star Wars Animated series… One of the episodes started with a saying that I can´t forget…
“Belief is not a choice. It´s a conviction.”
Oh man, that´s so powerful!
So I don´t believe in sitting and thinking that good stuff will happen.
That´s the biggest lie you´ll ever hear.
In fact, that´s a really dangerous thing to do… Positive tinking alone is more like living in a cocoon – and not really seeing what needs to be done.
Dr Phil has a great saying: “As you pray, MOVE your feet…” 
I believe in DOING things UNTIL they are the way I want them.
Or as close as possible.
I mean, I can´t fly and I can´t walk on the surface of Jupiter.
And I don´t look like Brad Pit, and even if I perform surgery – I won´t be even close.
But that´s not the point.
The point is, I have a CONVICTION that I WILL make it.
And I will do ANYTHING in my power to get there.
There is no plan B.
NEVER has been.
Earlier, when I was busy reacting to all the crap around me, I felt despair – and as a result – more crap came my way…
And I couldn´t possibly know what to do without the proper knowledge…
So again…
Desire, Belief, Knowledge and Action…
Law of attraction is always working…
What I focus on – will grow…
So I focus on improving my life… But at the same time, always being greatful of what I already have.
Faith, hope and love - the corner stones of life...
But how about fair?
No, life ain´t fair.
Never has been.
NEVER will be.
It´s ONLY what we make out of it. The best we can.
Easy?
No…
Doable?
DEFINITELLY!
Ok, there´s A LOT more to say about this amazing subject…
Maybe I´ll come back with more in one way or another later on…
But for now, I wish you all the best!
Posted in 
How to create magic with a single 3D light
May 24, 2010
Whoa – what?
Just one light?
Are you kidding?
Actually, this IS where all the magic happens. Get one of them right – and the rest will fall into place…
So much can be done with a single light. In this 5 min video, I´ll talk about a few good pointers on how you can get creative with just a single light.
That´s right…
No more placing 27 lights to get your scene look good. Just one!
Watch this 5 min overview:
And watch this 8 min video, where I demonstrate how to light a peer with a single light in DAZ Studio:
Allright, I hope you enjoyed the videos! Were they helpful? I´d love to hear from you! Also, please pass it on to your Facebook friends!
Thanks a bunch!
Back to the 17th century – modelling a swedish castle
May 18, 2010
Skokloster castle
Last year, I decided to start a huge project. I wanted to create a 3D model of a swedish castle, namely the beautiful Skoskloster castle. Yeah, I know – it´s HUGE!
Oh, well – I love challenges!
During a lovley and really HOT summer day last year, I started the project with taking some reference shots. This is one of the most important steps when it comes to 3D modelling. To see how the structure looks like, experience its real world size and the mood of actually being there – and to have some guidelines of where to put all the points and polygons…
…that matters…
…a lot.
Window details
I´ve seen this castle before, and I revisit it from time to time (hard not to) – but the photos really proved invaluable. So, if you have a camera, find something close enough to what you want to model. It doesn´t have to be 100% exact – just close enough to help you along the way.
And then fire away shots from all kinds of angles. This will not only help you with modelling, but also with texturing and lighting.
I love visiting castles and landscapes. Besides the great adventure, it´s wonderful to learn and discover how nature and people build stuff…
Basic model
Allright, as soon as I got home, I fixed some hot mint tea, sat down in my office and started to layout the basic model. At this point, I was just using simple primitives to get a sense of the whole model.
Using a reference shot
When the basic structure was in place, I used one of the reference shots as a background in Lightwave modeller – serving as a perfect scale reference. I was then able to carve out the arches for each of the windows.
Actually, a LOT can be done by simply using copy and paste. Once a single arch was done, I was able to produce all of them in a few seconds. After some beveling for the depth and some additional modelling on the actual windows a few days later – I had a basic model I was happy with…
Basic details in place
At this point, since I´m not a modeller, but still wanted this castle to really look great – I handed over the model to a great friend of mine, Jack Tomalin from Redhouse Studios. Jack is one of the best 3D modellers / texture artists out there.
He has an excellent eye for details and he actually survives the work!
I´ve known him for a few years now, and we´ve done a few projects together. Anyway, while Jack started enhancing the castle, I began to work on the garden and trees.
I had a big issue ahead of me… I wanted to squeeze in lots of trees. Not 30 of them – more like 300 of them. And they had to:
1) Look good
2) Render quick
3) Keep the polygon count down
Some nice issues to overcome, ehh?
Testing the trees
After several days of testing, I found a way to pre-render the trees and then project them on flat polygons. It looked good enough, rendered amazingly fast and it also kept the polygon count down.
Nice!
By that time, Jack had come a long way in adding details to the castle itself.
Enhanced castle model
And a few weeks later, it was all done – UV mapped and textured – and looking fantastic!
Final castle
I was stunned, but not surprised about the quality. Jack had done in again…
Just take a look at the windows…
Final window details
Fastforward to present time.
I wasn´t happy with the garden, so I let another awesome modeller, Jason White – go wild with it. Jason is a great guy, and I´ve known him for many years. At the time Jack was done with the castle, Jason returned from a trip to the UK.
And what does every great modeller do?
Take reference shots…
Right…
He was back with lots of photos of castles, gardens and stuff. He also took lots of photos while being in Italy a while back – and guess what – he started to build something really cool…
The swedish castle, suddently got transformed into a mixture of english, italian and swedish style…
Testing a new garden
Who knows where all this will end?
It´s been a great journey so far, and I want to thank you Jack and Jason for being such great friends…
…and 3D modellers!
Creating Myst-alike Games For Free
May 13, 2010
Adventure Game Test
I´m a big fan of the “old” Myst games such as Myst, Riven and Myst III Exile. What I like about those games, is the beautiful graphics, that includes lots of water, rocks and natural as well as un-natural elements.
It adds a feeling of freedom, which I absolutely adore…
Also, there´s a sense of this quiet, beautiful – almost timeless presense. There´s no stress, just the gorgeous sets and mystery…
If you´re into making similar games, you can – and it doesn´t cost a dime to get going.
Adventure Game Test
I´ve used the Advanture Maker from http://www.adventuremaker.com to produce a simple demo of a Myst-alike game.
You can download the demo for free here:
http://www.dreamlight3d.com/DLAdventureTest.exe
The Adventure Maker is remarcably easy to use and it enables logical puzzles to be incorporated. There´s a complete community with lots of free and paid plug ins and coders available if you need additional ones.
There´s a full version as well, and it comes with two licenes – for non commercial and commercial use.
The Adventure Maker has a neat plug in, called Cubic Panorama – that enables 360 degree panormic nodes, just like Myst III Exile. This plug in was actually the feature that attracted me…
You can add sound effects and music on several channels and it requires no coding.
At any rate, I like this software along with the community and I highly recommend it in case you want to explore the realms of adventure gaming.
Read more here:
http://www.adventuremaker.com
Basic Overview of UberEnvironment 2 for DAZ Studio 3 Advanced
May 8, 2010
There are features in a 3D software – and there are FEATURES.
UberEnvironment 2 by omnifraker is one of the best plug ins for DAZ Studio. It´s actually built into DAZ Studio 3 Advanced, so you don´t need to purchase it as a stand alone plug in.
It adds overall global illumination with those nice soft shadows and also light bouncing calculations – also called radiosity. What´s even more impressive, is that it doesn´t work with rays. It does all this on a shader-level. Simply put, it works with the surfaces rather then following the rays of light.
I really like this built in feature – it´s fast and easy to use. While doing a recent animation, I was actually impressed by the rendering speed of this feature. Especially, since DAZ Studio now offers shading rate control (basically this is the quality setting) – I was able to pull off several 100´s of frames in a few hours.
If you want to read more about it, and the other features of DAZ Studio Advanced, click here:
http://www.daz3d.com/i/software/daz_studio3/new?_m=d
Behind every great 3D artist is a…
May 5, 2010
Jeanette in her natural state... Laughing!
…great spouse!
Let me be perfectly honest with you. Your spouse is either working WITH YOU…
…or AGAINST YOU…
I know that sounds harsh… Let me explain…
You´re either working as a team, or sitting on a different train…
Of course it depends a little bit if your art is a hobby or if you´re aiming for going pro.
Me and Jeanette have been together for 11 years. That´s a long time… (Yeah, long enough to turn our home into a frantic zoo)
But that´s not the point.
We´ve been going through some major, and I mean MAJOR difficulties. I don´t know how many times we´ve been close to split up and just give up the whole relationship thing.
But we didn´t…
Every couple that´s been together for a while will tell you that they´ve overcome some huge challenges.
Why?
Because that´s part of life… Period.
Now, what do I mean with working with or against you?
Does that mean you have to be equal?
No!
Have the same opinions?
No!
Or do I mean that you split everything 50/50?
No, no, no, no and NO!
Working WITH means that you´re both engaged towards YOUR common future and goals…
You can then be totally different, like me and Jeanette. We´re not even close to being equal.
Ok… Of course, you need to have similar values and goals, but other than that – you can be like ying and yang.
Jeanette is more outgoing and possesses a high emotional intelligence.. Well, that´s not only a good thing… She talks all the time… Laughs atleast 71 times a day… And is completely unaware if anyone else thinks it´s funny too…
…But don´t tell her I said that!
I´m less outgoing, but instead I have lots of logical intelligence and creativity. While, Jeanette is more careful, I´m more daring.
The point is… We FIT.
Opposites Attract, by Paula Abdul – great song by the way!
Now, what do I mean with being engaged towards a common future?
That means that BOTH are not 50% – but 100% deidicated towards the same thing. How you do it, is not important. Let me tell you a story:
During the initial year, when our company was new – there were loooooong hours involved. And I´m not talking about 8 hours a day. No, I´m talking about 19 hours a day, including a fulltime day-time job.
There was almost NO time at all for Jeanette and hardly any time for life at all. And when there was, I was dead tired, laying in my bed and counting spider webs in the ceiling that I should have taken care of last week…
Yeah, ok – I have to admit – like a suck up flower wasn´t needed from time to time.
Back to the story. Jeanette worked WITH me, by simply LETTING me do what I NEEDED to do.
Get the point?
She could have said – hey mister – I didn´t sign up for this – now, you either give me real flowers, hangovers from wine, stiletto shoes, more carpet eating puppies and a VISA card for shopping make up – or I´m out of here.
She didn´t.
(Yeah, I know – that day will come. )
But the fact is, she believed in me and she worked with me. By simply getting out of my way. Don´t get me wrong. Not getting out of my way in THAT way… We simply worked as a team, with separate tasks – for the same goal.
And guess what…
…that paid off – big time.
Why am I talking about this? Because I´m opening the new Dreamlight Dating Service?
NOT!
Because YOU need to support eachother… Whether that´s 3D graphics, running a business or playing with your hobby.
Support is important, because whatever you´re doing, you will face obstacles.
Trust me – you will…
If you´re in here for the long run… If you walk the path and are determined to GET there, then obstacles WILL get in your way.
So, lucky me for finding a great spouse?
Hell no!
I don´t belive in luck. I believe in MAKING things happen.
However… THAT didn´t come naturally to me. That was a tough lesson to learn…
I wouldn´t have come this far without Jeanette and our fury kids. But I wouldn´t have come as far without ME believing in myself either.
Your EARN your support. You don´t get it.
You EARN it…
Now, I´ve got three fury ladies sitting infront of me in my office, with that FEED ME look in their face… And I swear I saw some kind of hunger in my wifes eyes too…
So, I´d better stop writing and make us some romantic dinner!
How to create as scary 3D look
May 3, 2010
Boo!
How do we create a scary look anyway? What are the components needed? There are two rules…
Rule number 1: What we can´t see – we fear. Also, we fear what we don´t know / are not familar with – but that´s another story.
So, we could say that the less we see – the more scary it looks. That means – kill the lights! Use only a few of them. Hide them and squeeze them into places where the camera can´t see them – but yet feel them. Illuminate only parts of your scene and keep the rest in darkness.
And that´s it?
What´s rule number 2?
Rule number 2: Remember rule number 1! 
I´m not kidding, it´s so easy to show too much and spoil the effect…
Actually, hide as much as you can. Don´t show the characters in full. Show only parts of them. And play with shadows – a shadow can be really scary.
Now, go and scare the h— of your friends with your next render!
How to make water with scattering effect using video loops in DAZ Studio
May 3, 2010
Video loops & clips. Do you know how much cool stuff there is out there? Just make a google search on it and you´ll be amazed. There´s lots of free stuff. And lots of great looking animations & live footage for a few bucks. With some creative approach, you can quickly and easily transform a temple with two pools, into a spectacular play of light.
What I did here, was to apply the water video clip to the Diffuse channel and then the same clip to the opacity channel to make the water surface semi-transparent. For the walls, I altered the video clip with higher contrast to have real black in it and just some lighting here and there. That secondary video clip was then applied to all the other surfaces ambient channel – like the walls and columns.
Since the ambient channel is selfglowing, it added really coool scattering lighting effect.
All this took just a few minutes to apply!
You can use video clips & loops beyong your imagination. I´m mean, there´s such no end to it. Whether it´s gun fire, rocket streaks, explosions, engine exhaust, rain, liquids, camp fire, candles, bullet hits, tv-screen or holograms – you can have lots of fun!
And you can practically obtain any live footage, for instance a filmed desert scene and mix it with a ufo 3D object.
To read more about the Animated Textures plug in for DAZ Studio, go here:
http://www.daz3d.com/i/shop/itemdetails/?item=10646
How radiosity affects your 3D scene
May 1, 2010
There are few 3D graphics features that I wouldn´t want to be without. Radiosity is definitelly one of them. What it does, is to add natural lighting all over your scene – as it lets all the lights bounce around several times.
I often avoid using it in animations though, since it adds to the render time. Those times call for faking it with some well aimed lights.
What I found to be extremely important when dealing with radiosity, is the position of the lights. Since everything bounces off everything, the key is really to place a few lights – but do it well – and let the technology do the rest.
In a way, radiosity makes 3D lights behave like real world rays – with all the pros and cons that comes with them.
